I must be lame

i must be lame or something, for i fail to grasp why it is so difficult to fix certain things going on in the news. so let us begin with why i must be missing something.

1. Sleeping control tower attendants. Why not just have two people and allow them to take naps? (not at the same time, duh!). This would solve the problem and will have the added bonus of lowering the unemployment rate a tad.

2. Japan. Use the money we are wasting on all the wars in the Middle east and instead help Japan fix its little nuclear mess. I mean come on people.. do you really want to glow in the dark? how important is it to keep bombing and killing people anyway.. which leads me to 

3. The Middle East. We can solve our involvement in 2 simple steps. One, pull all our troops out (the next one will tell you where they ought to go) and two, develop oil alternatives so that we dont have such a vested interest in such a volatile area of the world. This has the bonus of saving the planet as well as American lives!

4. The Mexico Problem. Send our troops to the border and get rid of all those drug cartel issues once and for all. Its really messed up what they are doing down there and we are not helping even though it is RIGHT NEXT DOOR!! I have theories but i wont go into them here (maybe another day when i need a break from doing what i am supposed to be doing).

5. Old and decrepit bridges and roads. Use the other soldiers to fix them. Real simple and nobody has to die..

Are these solutions too simple? Why does everything have to be so complex in order to be acceptable? Really folks.. common sense could do this country some good. 

A bitch fest

I wish that i could say that all the teachings i have read, the people that have helped me, and just appreciating life was enough to get me through what i am going through, but it isn't. the sad thing is that it should be. intellectually i know that things could be worse, so much worse. i look across the world at what is going on in japan and think about how horrible that is, yet i would almost prefer to be there instead of here. devastation on such a massive level tends to bring people together, which aside from the mass destruction, is a wonderful thing. going through life alone has its good and its bad points. it is even worse when you don't exactly choose to do so, but that is they way your life has been cast. could be from lousy relationship choices, poor social skills, mental issues, whatever.. but people are social creatures and feel the need to be around others.
using myself as an example (since i am the only person i am an expert on) i can see how it affects me to be around groups of people where i am clearly not invited. i feel sad, rejected, and of course, alone. i wonder what i am doing wrong and how to fix the situation. i try to talk but i feel like someone from jupiter who has decided to drop in for the day (at least that is how they make me feel). so i am sad.. and these days it goes beyond sad. it has gotten to a point where i don't particularly care much beyond today, and even today doesnt have all that much importance. i am just getting by, drifting through a life i should be enjoying. but i am not. so i do things to numb the pain, which only helps so much. since i obviously do not get along with people, i long for the day i can get a dog.. this will require finances and a home of my own, but at least it is a future goal. i do not have many future goals. right now the only other one is to make it through school, and even with that one, its more just like making it through each semester with decent grades. losing a few pounds is also on the list, but the list has become more of just something to beat myself up over. i really dont expect to live terribly long. i am surprised to have made it this long. but that is just the way i feel. i dont want to feel like this because there are little ones who look up to me, or who at least enjoy having me around....
this life thing is hard and it really shouldnt be.

I should know better

I have a degree in nutrition so I should know better. I have put on weight like many people do. I exercise and eat healthy but I admit I have not been eating as clean as i used to. it is time to change. no more excuses. i am also seriously considering going back to being vegan. i dont like the idea of eating animal flesh or supporting the caging of animals. granted, i eat organic and small farmed stuff, but i still dont like the idea of it all. i was vegan for 14 years and miss being able to say that is part of who i am.
i dont like the way i look right now. it is time to stop complaining about it and to start doing something about it. i hope to start writing a weekly blog to chronicle how i am doing.. the good and the bad, but hopefully more good..
i am also feeling quite stressed about school. i am so envious of these people who are so smart and understand everything. i have 2 papers to write and its just not going well.. i often wonder what the hell i am doing and if i am cut out for this.. or anything really..
some days i am just so damn tired of living.. i can't seem to get things to go right.. and just when they seem to be going well, i do something dumb and down i fall.. damn it all to hell...

The Beauty of Not Being Read

Most people write blogs hoping to amass a following. I, however, am actually glad i do not have followers. Why? Simple- freedom. I can write about ANYthing and not worry about people actually reading it and making comments. I don't have to worry about making anyone i know worried when i write from the heart. i can spill my guts, so to speak, and feel the satisfaction of getting those thoughts out of me and into the universe. It is rather cathartic to write, but i am horrible about keeping a journal. Writing a blog and using it for such a purpose i can actually see myself doing because on the off chance someone does read it and it helps them will always be in the back of my mind. But even if nobody reads this, i am still getting things out of me and into the universe. i can say that i am sick way too often; that i am often tired of living though still alive; that i wish i could help more people; that i feel like a failure in life; that i get upset with myself because i know i shouldn't feel like a failure because we are all here for a reason and those reasons my not be so obvious.. i may be here just to show others what NOT to do with their lives, and inso doing, put them on the right track.. i have abused this poor body of mine for well over half my life and am now really starting to pay the price. i am currently in law school- 2 years left (or there abouts).. and honestly, i don't plan to live beyond that. How can i? i am sick all the time. how will i be able to support myself with out all my school loans? i dont think i would survive terribly long on the street either. It does make me sad to think that i won't see my niece and nephews grow up, but at least i will see them grow for a couple of years.. i love them dearly, but i screwed up long before they were born. i don't have many friends so i dont have to worry about leaving many people behind and hurt. No, my existence is mostly solitary.. i flitter in and out of people's lives.. for the best i think. Perhaps my next life will be one of more health and vitality. i was a healthy child, but i screwed up. Nothing i can do about that now.. i just keep living and hoping that my end isn't too painful..
that's all for now..

Empty

Ever feel alone? Empty? Like what you are doing doesn't mean all that much or that what you are doing in life is just plain wrong? I have, and I think we all have to an extent. Why do these feelings come about and how can we get over them? I have pondered this on many occasions. I have sought answers in Buddhism, philosophy, reading the advice of "experts" in the field of positive thinking, and just observing people in my surroundings. In so doing, I have come to several conclusions.
1. Some people just think more on the positive side than others. This is just a fact of life. There are people who worry all the time, and those who couldn't care less, just like there are those who know exactly what there purpose in life is and go for it, and there are those who float about, clueless. Perhaps its the way we are raised or some childhood event that causes us to go one way or the other. Or maybe its just genes. I don't know. This leads to my next conclusion.
2. Just because thinking positively does not come easy does not mean we all cannot do it. We just have to work a bit harder than the other folk. Oftentimes I come down very hard on myself for not having a specific life plan or goals (or even a real job). I forget that there is a positive side to every negative. I think many of us do this. Most things in life are not black and white, but shades of grey, a concept I still struggle with in my own life. A speeding ticket is horrible, but the upside is maybe by driving slower in the future, you avoided a nasty accident. Having a heart attack is a painful experience, but if it does not kill you, you are given the opportunity to turn your health around by eating right and exercising, and by doing so perhaps have added years to your life.
3. Changing requires consistency. You cannot choose to think positive for a day and expect your life to change. It has to be an everyday sort of thing. And some days it will feel like it is working, and some days you may feel like the black cloud is back. The point is not to give up trying. Nothing will change by itself. You have to do it. I have to do it. Everyone has to do it if they want to get out of the funk that they may find themselves in.
With that said, I still have days and weeks where nothing seems to go right; where I question my existence; where I just do not feel like being here. But I then remind myself of good things that are going on in my life. They may be small, like I have a really yummy dinner waiting for me or that I am finally over a cold that has been lingering or I hit all the green lights on my way home. They certainly do not fix the fact that I am in limbo about certain aspects of my life and am dealing with the results of some pretty bad decisions, but these little good things are what life is really about. It really is the small stuff. Sure there is the big stuff, but if I focus on the big stuff alone, I get really f*cking depressed. And what's the point of living if you are depressed all the time? None really. But life is worth living so we might as well make it work for us and be happy the cop pulled the guy in front of us instead of, well, us. Happy day.

Time to change your thoughts about your diet

I was pondering as to what i should write about. Granted, I dont have a following, but i still feel compelled to share my thoughts and such with the world, on the off chance someone reads this and finds it helpful. I am thinking, considering all my degrees in nutrition, i am going to start writing diet and exercise advise occasionally (or more depending on my mood). Why do i think i am qualified to tell anyone how to eat? well.. i am really observant. i see what works and what doesn't. i have had clients who (when they listened to me) lost weight, lowered their cholesterol, got their diabetes under control, etc. Plus, i do have a BS in dietetics and an MS in nutrition. Many people online who write up some of these ridiculous diets do not have any background in the area and are making it up as they go along. I am not dissing anyone. I think it is good that a mom who has lost weight wants to share with the world how she did it.. but to offer general advice i don't think is such a good idea. You see, everybody is different. And everybody's body is different. All those diets out there might all work, but the trick is to find what works for you and your body. A large part is about calories in and calories out, and of course exercising. But we are all so different when it comes to our metabolism, our cravings, our nutritional needs, etc. So i thought i would offer some common sense ideas for those who wish to lose weight or just eat healthier on how to do that. I guess you could consider this general advice on how to get specific advice and help to reach your health goals, whatever they may be.
So where to start? I think the best place to start is at the beginning, don't you?
Your first step should be to write down everything you eat for a few days. The more days the better. This will give you an idea of how many calories you are consuming from which food groups. If you have gained weight recently and have been eating about the same, then this will give you a starting point of where you are and what you need to change. During this time, sitting down and thinking about back to a weight that you were happy with, or a time when you had more energy, or whatever concern you have, and writing down how you used to eat and how active you were is helpful. If you were always overweight this is still helpful because it could be the wake up call as to how much good and not so good foods you are eating.
Once you have written down everything you've eaten for a week, take a good look at it. Look at how many fruits and vegetables and whole grains you eat. Look for trends of empty calories or when you tend to eat more than you should. Write down, for example, that your 3pm chocolate bar tends to occur only when you are stressed out, or that the days you skip breakfast tend to be the days you snack all day. Sometimes seeing it right in front of you, either on paper or your computer screen will be enough to give you direction as to what you need to do to obtain your optimal weight and meet your nutrient needs.
My next nutrition blog i think will deal with what to do next after you have that piece of paper in front of you. I also plan to explain why general diet plans don't work and the importance of eating whole foods.
If i can help just one person via this blog, then it will be worth it..
I still plan to use this space to post other observations and thoughts.. some nutrition related, some not..
So get started and we will talk more later.

A Story about Nothing

It seems like nothing has changed. Americans are told that their ways will destroy the world. Nothing is really being done. The oil spill was an ecological disaster. Nothing has been done to truly move away from our dependence on oil. More and more studies are coming out proving the benefits of breastfeeding and holding one's baby. Nothing has changed- moms still bottle feed and leave their children in plastic carriers all day. Studies are also showing the harmful effects of violent video games- depression, anxiety, obesity from sitting for hours- yet parents still buy them for their children. Pesticides in foods are proving to cause illnesses from cancer to all sorts of lymphatic and toxic diseases. Nothing is being done to prevent these large companies from selling them. Consumers still by conventionally grown foods and eat at McDonalds. Why is nothing being done? If everyone did SOMEthing, who knows what could change. Little things, like bringing bags to go shopping, driving smaller cars, cooking more, reading labels, etc. If everyone did their small part, they could add up to something big, like letting companies know that they need to change their ways because consumers are starting to realize the garbage being created and the increasing speed of things going to hell in a hand basket. We could blame tv, advertisements, the busy work week, but those are just excuses, and these are things one can change if one really puts his or her mind to it.
Just do it everyone. Make a small change.. and who knows? You may get inspired to do another change and inspire your children and friends to make some changes as well. It would be nice to think the world will still exist in pretty descent shape for when our children grow up and have children of their own. But lets face it- if everyone does nothing, nothing will change. Give it some thought.