Empty

Ever feel alone? Empty? Like what you are doing doesn't mean all that much or that what you are doing in life is just plain wrong? I have, and I think we all have to an extent. Why do these feelings come about and how can we get over them? I have pondered this on many occasions. I have sought answers in Buddhism, philosophy, reading the advice of "experts" in the field of positive thinking, and just observing people in my surroundings. In so doing, I have come to several conclusions.
1. Some people just think more on the positive side than others. This is just a fact of life. There are people who worry all the time, and those who couldn't care less, just like there are those who know exactly what there purpose in life is and go for it, and there are those who float about, clueless. Perhaps its the way we are raised or some childhood event that causes us to go one way or the other. Or maybe its just genes. I don't know. This leads to my next conclusion.
2. Just because thinking positively does not come easy does not mean we all cannot do it. We just have to work a bit harder than the other folk. Oftentimes I come down very hard on myself for not having a specific life plan or goals (or even a real job). I forget that there is a positive side to every negative. I think many of us do this. Most things in life are not black and white, but shades of grey, a concept I still struggle with in my own life. A speeding ticket is horrible, but the upside is maybe by driving slower in the future, you avoided a nasty accident. Having a heart attack is a painful experience, but if it does not kill you, you are given the opportunity to turn your health around by eating right and exercising, and by doing so perhaps have added years to your life.
3. Changing requires consistency. You cannot choose to think positive for a day and expect your life to change. It has to be an everyday sort of thing. And some days it will feel like it is working, and some days you may feel like the black cloud is back. The point is not to give up trying. Nothing will change by itself. You have to do it. I have to do it. Everyone has to do it if they want to get out of the funk that they may find themselves in.
With that said, I still have days and weeks where nothing seems to go right; where I question my existence; where I just do not feel like being here. But I then remind myself of good things that are going on in my life. They may be small, like I have a really yummy dinner waiting for me or that I am finally over a cold that has been lingering or I hit all the green lights on my way home. They certainly do not fix the fact that I am in limbo about certain aspects of my life and am dealing with the results of some pretty bad decisions, but these little good things are what life is really about. It really is the small stuff. Sure there is the big stuff, but if I focus on the big stuff alone, I get really f*cking depressed. And what's the point of living if you are depressed all the time? None really. But life is worth living so we might as well make it work for us and be happy the cop pulled the guy in front of us instead of, well, us. Happy day.