Most people write blogs hoping to amass a following. I, however, am actually glad i do not have followers. Why? Simple- freedom. I can write about ANYthing and not worry about people actually reading it and making comments. I don't have to worry about making anyone i know worried when i write from the heart. i can spill my guts, so to speak, and feel the satisfaction of getting those thoughts out of me and into the universe. It is rather cathartic to write, but i am horrible about keeping a journal. Writing a blog and using it for such a purpose i can actually see myself doing because on the off chance someone does read it and it helps them will always be in the back of my mind. But even if nobody reads this, i am still getting things out of me and into the universe. i can say that i am sick way too often; that i am often tired of living though still alive; that i wish i could help more people; that i feel like a failure in life; that i get upset with myself because i know i shouldn't feel like a failure because we are all here for a reason and those reasons my not be so obvious.. i may be here just to show others what NOT to do with their lives, and inso doing, put them on the right track.. i have abused this poor body of mine for well over half my life and am now really starting to pay the price. i am currently in law school- 2 years left (or there abouts).. and honestly, i don't plan to live beyond that. How can i? i am sick all the time. how will i be able to support myself with out all my school loans? i dont think i would survive terribly long on the street either. It does make me sad to think that i won't see my niece and nephews grow up, but at least i will see them grow for a couple of years.. i love them dearly, but i screwed up long before they were born. i don't have many friends so i dont have to worry about leaving many people behind and hurt. No, my existence is mostly solitary.. i flitter in and out of people's lives.. for the best i think. Perhaps my next life will be one of more health and vitality. i was a healthy child, but i screwed up. Nothing i can do about that now.. i just keep living and hoping that my end isn't too painful..
that's all for now..
Monday, February 21, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Empty
Ever feel alone? Empty? Like what you are doing doesn't mean all that much or that what you are doing in life is just plain wrong? I have, and I think we all have to an extent. Why do these feelings come about and how can we get over them? I have pondered this on many occasions. I have sought answers in Buddhism, philosophy, reading the advice of "experts" in the field of positive thinking, and just observing people in my surroundings. In so doing, I have come to several conclusions.
1. Some people just think more on the positive side than others. This is just a fact of life. There are people who worry all the time, and those who couldn't care less, just like there are those who know exactly what there purpose in life is and go for it, and there are those who float about, clueless. Perhaps its the way we are raised or some childhood event that causes us to go one way or the other. Or maybe its just genes. I don't know. This leads to my next conclusion.
2. Just because thinking positively does not come easy does not mean we all cannot do it. We just have to work a bit harder than the other folk. Oftentimes I come down very hard on myself for not having a specific life plan or goals (or even a real job). I forget that there is a positive side to every negative. I think many of us do this. Most things in life are not black and white, but shades of grey, a concept I still struggle with in my own life. A speeding ticket is horrible, but the upside is maybe by driving slower in the future, you avoided a nasty accident. Having a heart attack is a painful experience, but if it does not kill you, you are given the opportunity to turn your health around by eating right and exercising, and by doing so perhaps have added years to your life.
3. Changing requires consistency. You cannot choose to think positive for a day and expect your life to change. It has to be an everyday sort of thing. And some days it will feel like it is working, and some days you may feel like the black cloud is back. The point is not to give up trying. Nothing will change by itself. You have to do it. I have to do it. Everyone has to do it if they want to get out of the funk that they may find themselves in.
With that said, I still have days and weeks where nothing seems to go right; where I question my existence; where I just do not feel like being here. But I then remind myself of good things that are going on in my life. They may be small, like I have a really yummy dinner waiting for me or that I am finally over a cold that has been lingering or I hit all the green lights on my way home. They certainly do not fix the fact that I am in limbo about certain aspects of my life and am dealing with the results of some pretty bad decisions, but these little good things are what life is really about. It really is the small stuff. Sure there is the big stuff, but if I focus on the big stuff alone, I get really f*cking depressed. And what's the point of living if you are depressed all the time? None really. But life is worth living so we might as well make it work for us and be happy the cop pulled the guy in front of us instead of, well, us. Happy day.
1. Some people just think more on the positive side than others. This is just a fact of life. There are people who worry all the time, and those who couldn't care less, just like there are those who know exactly what there purpose in life is and go for it, and there are those who float about, clueless. Perhaps its the way we are raised or some childhood event that causes us to go one way or the other. Or maybe its just genes. I don't know. This leads to my next conclusion.
2. Just because thinking positively does not come easy does not mean we all cannot do it. We just have to work a bit harder than the other folk. Oftentimes I come down very hard on myself for not having a specific life plan or goals (or even a real job). I forget that there is a positive side to every negative. I think many of us do this. Most things in life are not black and white, but shades of grey, a concept I still struggle with in my own life. A speeding ticket is horrible, but the upside is maybe by driving slower in the future, you avoided a nasty accident. Having a heart attack is a painful experience, but if it does not kill you, you are given the opportunity to turn your health around by eating right and exercising, and by doing so perhaps have added years to your life.
3. Changing requires consistency. You cannot choose to think positive for a day and expect your life to change. It has to be an everyday sort of thing. And some days it will feel like it is working, and some days you may feel like the black cloud is back. The point is not to give up trying. Nothing will change by itself. You have to do it. I have to do it. Everyone has to do it if they want to get out of the funk that they may find themselves in.
With that said, I still have days and weeks where nothing seems to go right; where I question my existence; where I just do not feel like being here. But I then remind myself of good things that are going on in my life. They may be small, like I have a really yummy dinner waiting for me or that I am finally over a cold that has been lingering or I hit all the green lights on my way home. They certainly do not fix the fact that I am in limbo about certain aspects of my life and am dealing with the results of some pretty bad decisions, but these little good things are what life is really about. It really is the small stuff. Sure there is the big stuff, but if I focus on the big stuff alone, I get really f*cking depressed. And what's the point of living if you are depressed all the time? None really. But life is worth living so we might as well make it work for us and be happy the cop pulled the guy in front of us instead of, well, us. Happy day.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Time to change your thoughts about your diet
I was pondering as to what i should write about. Granted, I dont have a following, but i still feel compelled to share my thoughts and such with the world, on the off chance someone reads this and finds it helpful. I am thinking, considering all my degrees in nutrition, i am going to start writing diet and exercise advise occasionally (or more depending on my mood). Why do i think i am qualified to tell anyone how to eat? well.. i am really observant. i see what works and what doesn't. i have had clients who (when they listened to me) lost weight, lowered their cholesterol, got their diabetes under control, etc. Plus, i do have a BS in dietetics and an MS in nutrition. Many people online who write up some of these ridiculous diets do not have any background in the area and are making it up as they go along. I am not dissing anyone. I think it is good that a mom who has lost weight wants to share with the world how she did it.. but to offer general advice i don't think is such a good idea. You see, everybody is different. And everybody's body is different. All those diets out there might all work, but the trick is to find what works for you and your body. A large part is about calories in and calories out, and of course exercising. But we are all so different when it comes to our metabolism, our cravings, our nutritional needs, etc. So i thought i would offer some common sense ideas for those who wish to lose weight or just eat healthier on how to do that. I guess you could consider this general advice on how to get specific advice and help to reach your health goals, whatever they may be.
So where to start? I think the best place to start is at the beginning, don't you?
Your first step should be to write down everything you eat for a few days. The more days the better. This will give you an idea of how many calories you are consuming from which food groups. If you have gained weight recently and have been eating about the same, then this will give you a starting point of where you are and what you need to change. During this time, sitting down and thinking about back to a weight that you were happy with, or a time when you had more energy, or whatever concern you have, and writing down how you used to eat and how active you were is helpful. If you were always overweight this is still helpful because it could be the wake up call as to how much good and not so good foods you are eating.
Once you have written down everything you've eaten for a week, take a good look at it. Look at how many fruits and vegetables and whole grains you eat. Look for trends of empty calories or when you tend to eat more than you should. Write down, for example, that your 3pm chocolate bar tends to occur only when you are stressed out, or that the days you skip breakfast tend to be the days you snack all day. Sometimes seeing it right in front of you, either on paper or your computer screen will be enough to give you direction as to what you need to do to obtain your optimal weight and meet your nutrient needs.
My next nutrition blog i think will deal with what to do next after you have that piece of paper in front of you. I also plan to explain why general diet plans don't work and the importance of eating whole foods.
If i can help just one person via this blog, then it will be worth it..
I still plan to use this space to post other observations and thoughts.. some nutrition related, some not..
So get started and we will talk more later.
So where to start? I think the best place to start is at the beginning, don't you?
Your first step should be to write down everything you eat for a few days. The more days the better. This will give you an idea of how many calories you are consuming from which food groups. If you have gained weight recently and have been eating about the same, then this will give you a starting point of where you are and what you need to change. During this time, sitting down and thinking about back to a weight that you were happy with, or a time when you had more energy, or whatever concern you have, and writing down how you used to eat and how active you were is helpful. If you were always overweight this is still helpful because it could be the wake up call as to how much good and not so good foods you are eating.
Once you have written down everything you've eaten for a week, take a good look at it. Look at how many fruits and vegetables and whole grains you eat. Look for trends of empty calories or when you tend to eat more than you should. Write down, for example, that your 3pm chocolate bar tends to occur only when you are stressed out, or that the days you skip breakfast tend to be the days you snack all day. Sometimes seeing it right in front of you, either on paper or your computer screen will be enough to give you direction as to what you need to do to obtain your optimal weight and meet your nutrient needs.
My next nutrition blog i think will deal with what to do next after you have that piece of paper in front of you. I also plan to explain why general diet plans don't work and the importance of eating whole foods.
If i can help just one person via this blog, then it will be worth it..
I still plan to use this space to post other observations and thoughts.. some nutrition related, some not..
So get started and we will talk more later.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
A Story about Nothing
It seems like nothing has changed. Americans are told that their ways will destroy the world. Nothing is really being done. The oil spill was an ecological disaster. Nothing has been done to truly move away from our dependence on oil. More and more studies are coming out proving the benefits of breastfeeding and holding one's baby. Nothing has changed- moms still bottle feed and leave their children in plastic carriers all day. Studies are also showing the harmful effects of violent video games- depression, anxiety, obesity from sitting for hours- yet parents still buy them for their children. Pesticides in foods are proving to cause illnesses from cancer to all sorts of lymphatic and toxic diseases. Nothing is being done to prevent these large companies from selling them. Consumers still by conventionally grown foods and eat at McDonalds. Why is nothing being done? If everyone did SOMEthing, who knows what could change. Little things, like bringing bags to go shopping, driving smaller cars, cooking more, reading labels, etc. If everyone did their small part, they could add up to something big, like letting companies know that they need to change their ways because consumers are starting to realize the garbage being created and the increasing speed of things going to hell in a hand basket. We could blame tv, advertisements, the busy work week, but those are just excuses, and these are things one can change if one really puts his or her mind to it.
Just do it everyone. Make a small change.. and who knows? You may get inspired to do another change and inspire your children and friends to make some changes as well. It would be nice to think the world will still exist in pretty descent shape for when our children grow up and have children of their own. But lets face it- if everyone does nothing, nothing will change. Give it some thought.
Just do it everyone. Make a small change.. and who knows? You may get inspired to do another change and inspire your children and friends to make some changes as well. It would be nice to think the world will still exist in pretty descent shape for when our children grow up and have children of their own. But lets face it- if everyone does nothing, nothing will change. Give it some thought.
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